Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
