Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
