Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
