I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
