i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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