I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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