I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
