I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize