At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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