Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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