Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize