i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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