just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
