I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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