my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
