we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
