I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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