i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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