It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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