Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize