i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize