is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
