I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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