and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
