Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
