Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
