thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
