Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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