Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
