The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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