ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
