I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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