His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
