i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And then my night got REAL pukey
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
