I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
