Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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