dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
