Me too!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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