She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
