Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
