Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
