Your tits are I can't wait for
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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