as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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