batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
