i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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