there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
