Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Couch. On fire.
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