Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
