Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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