But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
