I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
