i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
