I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
