You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
