NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
