Pappa wants mamma naked
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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