Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
