I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
