A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
