There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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