.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
