don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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