but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
