i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
