You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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