i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
