whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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