I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
