I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
