He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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