He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
